Sunday, October 26, 2014

Abusive Relationships:

What is relationship abuse?

  1. "Relationship abuse is a pattern of abusive and coercive behaviors used to maintain power and control over a former or current intimate partner.Abuse can be emotional, financial, sexual or physical and can include threats, isolation, and intimidation."
  • Approx. 70% of college students say they have been sexually coerced.
  • One quarter of high school girls have been victims of physical or sexual abuse.
  • Eight states currently do not include dating relationships in their definitions of domestic violence
  • 2 to 4 million american women are abused each year.
  • According to the FBI, a woman is battered every 15 seconds
  • Nearly half of men who abuse their partners also abuse their children
  • Studies show that women face the greatest risk of assault when they threaten to leave or report the abuse to authorities
  • 90-95% percent of domestic violence victims are women
  • Nearly one in three women experience domestic violence in their lifetime
  • Women between the ages of 16 and 24 experience the highest rate of domestic violence and sexual assault
  • Each year approx. 3.3 million children are exposed to abuse against their female caretakers.
What are the signs of an abusive relationship?

  • You get pressured for an exclusive commitment almost immediately.
  • Your partner is excessively possessive, calls constantly, or visits unexpectedly.
  • Your partner is overly controlling, interrogates your whereabouts, makes you ask for permission before doing things.
  • Your partner has unrealistic expectations of you.
  • Your partner tries to isolate you, and cuts you off from family and friends.
  • Your partner blames others for their own mistakes, and makes others responsible for their feelings
  • Your partner is easily insulted and often complains about the unfairness of their life.
  • Your partner is cruel to animals and children.
  • Your partner uses excessive force when being intimate.
  • Your partner criticizes, degrades, calls you names, and uses vulnerable parts of your life against you.
  • There are specific gender roles.
  • Your partner has sudden mood swings.
  • Your partner has an abusive past.
  • There are threats of violence.

  1. What are the effects of an abusive relationship?
  2. Physical effects:

  3. Relationship violence can result in temporary pain, long- term injuries, and even death. Bruises, concussions, and broken bones are common injuries that result immediately after abuse. Headaches, back pain, or digestive problems are more ongoing problems.

  4. Psychological/Emotional effects:

  5. Abuse significantly increases your risk of depression. You are also at risk for suicidal thoughts, PTSD, and substance abuse. Although psychological and emotion effects can not always be seen, they can be just as harmful as physical damage.

  6. Effects on your social life:

  7. Many times the abuser tries to keep the victim from any type of social interaction. They isolate them from family and friends in order to have control of the relationship. This causes long-term social impairment. The victim feels embarrassed by their situation and does not want to interact with anyone. They may also become very socially awkward due to the lack of interaction.

  8. Effects on children:

  9. Exposing children to relationship abuse causes impairments in multiple aspects of their development. This may also lead to them believing that violence and abuse are acceptable resolutions to conflict. There is also a large risk that abuse may be directed at your child.

How to get help:
  • Get a restraining order
  • Call the help hotlines
  • Look for red flags
  • Identify safe areas
  • Be ready to leave at a moments notice
  • There are other people experiencing the same thing somewhere else
  • You are never alone and there are people who love you
  • There are people who can help you 
  • It is all going to be okay
  • You did not cause this and you are not to blame for your abusers behavior
  • You deserve to feel safe
  • You deserve respect
  • Your children deserve to be raised in a safe and healthy environment